How To Be Trash-y

Trash-y
Adj. Trash-i-er, trash-i-est
Resembling or containing trash; cheap or worthless; trashy merchandise.
In very poor taste or of very poor quality: Walking around with the strings of your g-string hanging out of your pants is trash-y.

Everything is trashy. The tear in the sole of cowboy boots bought and lost in Wicker Park, Monroe piercing next to red lipstick, cheap vodka and king cobras and basement parties and the moon and sometimes the stars (But only on nights when you’re drinking a diet coke from McDonalds) and reading Rolling Stone before going to bed and rolling your own cigarettes and and and….
And everything is trashy. At least that’s what Ashley and I believe in, and strive for.

Part I: Music
Alice Cooper: is trashy but only when your wearing black boots and thick black eyeliner.
Kings of Leon: Sexy trashy. You could pick a girl up and take her home and almost give you a black eye trying to pull her hair or hold her down, but if you put on Kings of Leon (I.E Milk) The guitar and the cracked voice and the round house kicking of drums will make her smile.
Queens of the Stone Age: Only because they have a song “ Make it Wit Chu” Which to me, seems as though he is basically saying “ I can’t give you anything, or tell you anything, but I can make it wit chu anytime, anywhere.”
Outkast: Where are my panties? ‘nuff said.

Part II: Clothing.
Sometimes Ashley and I will wear the same clothes so many days in a row; you’d think we were on repeat. And then when we change, it’s only because we are going out. That’s when the V-necks come out; when Ashley trims the steps on the left side of her head, when I wear my black shirt with the back completely cut out so the back of my bra hangs out. That’s when a hole in your shoes/pants/skirt/underwear/shirt/whatever doesn’t matter anymore, because then makes it more kitsch.

Part III: Food.
Diet Coke and cheap booze and sunflower seeds and Philly’s Best (Because it’s cheap and around the corner from my work) and Dunkin Donuts coffee at least 6 hours old. Taco Bell, or Dinner Grill on Irving Park. Microwave Mac and Cheese. Redbulls. Not eating for three days because you’ve just eaten every Trash-y thing available.